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..”“Kelly, are you for real? When would I have ever done pot? High school? Remember Coach Summers? If he even thought we were doing something like that, we were dead.”Kelly laughed. “He also didn’t want you drinking, and I remember you doing that.”I snorted out a laugh and smiled back. “Yeah, well, that’s different. Anyway, then there was the Army, and then the MPD, and random drug tests. What about you?” I asked. I already knew the answer.Or did I? Kelly blushed and averted her eyes. “Kelly?”“Remember back when I was a freshman at Vanderbilt?” I just stared at my wife in disbelief. “Remember how I told you I kind of colored outside of the lines every once in a while?”“I remember how you got arrested for pepper spraying Candy Pants Holden. I thought that was the extent of your criminal behavior.”She blushed and said, “So maybe that wasn’t my only minor transgression.”“Minor transgression? Oh, this just keeps getting better and better.”“Sarah and a few of the girls and I would. " Right," I agreed."So it's down to you, I'll get their details sent round." he says."What do you mean down to me?" I asks."Clearing the streets of Pedos," he says."It ain't my job!" I says."Ah well," he says, "Not a job but there's a bloke offering ten thousand a throw for every Pedo bollocked." he says, "Of course there's commission, ten per cent each for Tony and me but it's a nice little earner." Christ," I says."Your mate Al's up for it," he says, "You better watch out or he'll have your job!" "Christ," I said, "Yeah, just as long as they are pedos." Oh yes, no worries," he agreed, “I send you an email."The Annual Council meeting at Town Hall was a shambles, there must have been half the perverts in England hanging about outside the building, Police dogs, Police horses trampling people and shitting everywhere, what a shambles, but I wore me overalls and sneaked in round the back and they never recognised me.The Council was boring, the big thing was electing the Chairman and that.
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